For 30 years, I delivered. Like clockwork. Like Karl Malone. Then I was asked to stop.
I was reliable. Like a Maytag appliance.Then I was discontinued.
I was loyal. Like an old dog. Then...you get the picture.
Results don't grow on trees, but apparently people do, so I was replaced. Tough luck, but not the end of the world either. At least not yet.
So now I still deliver. Like clockwork. Like Karl Malone. That's right...I'm a mailman. Neither rain, nor snow etc. etc... so I'm also still reliable. Someone determined that I'm actually an old dog, so the loyalty thing is covered too. But I really deliver. I'm not just about the mail, I deliver parcels too. Like Doug Heffernan in King of Queens.
But it's not enough.
When I'm done delivering like Karl Malone and Doug Heffernan, I still deliver. Like Frank Martin in The Transporter. Or Hoke Colburn in Driving Miss Daisy. That's right...I'm an Uber driver too. After I deliver mail to people, I deliver people to places. Airports, bus stations, McDonald's. Check that tree...any people like that growing on there? If so, I can deliver them where they need to go.
Need a pizza? Call Domino's, not me. I don't deliver. At least not yet.
Showing posts with label Speak No Evil. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Speak No Evil. Show all posts
Monday, August 7, 2017
Sunday, December 8, 2013
WWLFD
WWLFD.
What Would Lou Ferrigno Do? He'd give it 110%.
For anyone who watched him as a contestant on Celebrity Apprentice, you understand that when Lou gives it his all it equals 110%, not 100% like the rest of us.
Seriously, I'm a big fan of Lou. He triumphed over his hearing impairment. I've admired his achievements throughout his career as a bodybuilder and "actor." I mean, he is The Hulk so that's not acting, right? He's also got a great ability to laugh at himself (and I hope this, because I don't want to make him angry!)
Anyway, I've recently adopted WWLFD as my new instant motivation tool when I feel like slacking off. It originated accidentally and humorously while I was trying to provide some inspiring words for my brother. Afterwards, I recognized it had value in it's simplicity. So now I get myself re-focused and amuse myself at the same time!
So the next time the going gets tough and you feel like getting lazy...WWLFD. Lou and I expect nothing short of 110%.
What Would Lou Ferrigno Do? He'd give it 110%.
For anyone who watched him as a contestant on Celebrity Apprentice, you understand that when Lou gives it his all it equals 110%, not 100% like the rest of us.
Seriously, I'm a big fan of Lou. He triumphed over his hearing impairment. I've admired his achievements throughout his career as a bodybuilder and "actor." I mean, he is The Hulk so that's not acting, right? He's also got a great ability to laugh at himself (and I hope this, because I don't want to make him angry!)
Anyway, I've recently adopted WWLFD as my new instant motivation tool when I feel like slacking off. It originated accidentally and humorously while I was trying to provide some inspiring words for my brother. Afterwards, I recognized it had value in it's simplicity. So now I get myself re-focused and amuse myself at the same time!
So the next time the going gets tough and you feel like getting lazy...WWLFD. Lou and I expect nothing short of 110%.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Empty Nest
The jelly is out of the doughnut. What? The bird has left the nest. Huh? The children have all grown up and moved out. Oh.
Funny, I don’t feel that old but the sand in the hour glass never lies. I suppose it’s bittersweet. On the one hand, I loved having the kids around the house. On the other hand, I couldn’t wait for them to grow up and leave. Well, I’ve gotten my wish and it’s not quite what I expected. I’m sadder than I thought I’d be. I’m sure I’ll adjust. The trick is to focus on the benefits. More alone time. More time with my wife. (Hey, where did she disappear to anyway?) Okay, so maybe it’s just more alone time? Seriously, I’m looking forward to going out. We can travel a little. We can tidy up the house and actually wake up to find it just the way we left it. I can take a shower whenever I want. I can walk around wearing just my…never mind. The joys of living in the empty nest!
Of course, I’ll miss not having the kids around. No, really I will. The house feels empty sometimes – a little too quiet. I’m still catching myself wonder where they are before I remember they’re elsewhere. Then I’m sad… until I realize they took their mess (oops, I mean their stuff), their laundry, and their lizard. And then a smile creeps in slowly. If only I could figure a way for them to take the college debt too…hmmm. Hey, didn’t somebody mention doughnuts?
Funny, I don’t feel that old but the sand in the hour glass never lies. I suppose it’s bittersweet. On the one hand, I loved having the kids around the house. On the other hand, I couldn’t wait for them to grow up and leave. Well, I’ve gotten my wish and it’s not quite what I expected. I’m sadder than I thought I’d be. I’m sure I’ll adjust. The trick is to focus on the benefits. More alone time. More time with my wife. (Hey, where did she disappear to anyway?) Okay, so maybe it’s just more alone time? Seriously, I’m looking forward to going out. We can travel a little. We can tidy up the house and actually wake up to find it just the way we left it. I can take a shower whenever I want. I can walk around wearing just my…never mind. The joys of living in the empty nest!
Of course, I’ll miss not having the kids around. No, really I will. The house feels empty sometimes – a little too quiet. I’m still catching myself wonder where they are before I remember they’re elsewhere. Then I’m sad… until I realize they took their mess (oops, I mean their stuff), their laundry, and their lizard. And then a smile creeps in slowly. If only I could figure a way for them to take the college debt too…hmmm. Hey, didn’t somebody mention doughnuts?
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Monkey Prerogative
I thought I'd start slowly today and attempt to describe what you might expect from this blog. Honestly, I'm not entirely sure yet. I'm just one monkey. In the jungle, one monkey or what he thinks doesn't count for all that much. But if he manages to not get eaten by a lion, then he gets to keep on thinking, or in my case, writing.
For the most part, I'll aim to keep my opinions monkey-like. In other words, I'll try to tackle complicated situations with ease, display sparkling wit, and hold on to the branches tightly, all while swinging from tree to tree in the range of topics I cover. I hope I don't get too serious but I'm very much a serious monkey so I can't make any promises. Monkeys are unpredictable. In that vein, the predictability of posting will not likely follow any specific schedule. I can't be swinging through the trees constantly because even a monkey needs to relax and eat a banana from time to time. So I'm hopeful that I'll have some Guest Monkeys who'd occasionally like to swing by and share their experiences in the jungle.
Got a topic you'd like to see me explore? Shoot me an email with your suggestion. It's time for a banana now and if the lions don't get me, I'll be back to share some more thoughts soon.
For the most part, I'll aim to keep my opinions monkey-like. In other words, I'll try to tackle complicated situations with ease, display sparkling wit, and hold on to the branches tightly, all while swinging from tree to tree in the range of topics I cover. I hope I don't get too serious but I'm very much a serious monkey so I can't make any promises. Monkeys are unpredictable. In that vein, the predictability of posting will not likely follow any specific schedule. I can't be swinging through the trees constantly because even a monkey needs to relax and eat a banana from time to time. So I'm hopeful that I'll have some Guest Monkeys who'd occasionally like to swing by and share their experiences in the jungle.
Got a topic you'd like to see me explore? Shoot me an email with your suggestion. It's time for a banana now and if the lions don't get me, I'll be back to share some more thoughts soon.
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